It has been almost two years since I’ve looked at this space and typed words. There are a few reasons, one of them being a need for privacy after a period of change. There has been a bit of reflection on my part, as I’ve had to grasp with the understanding of how much I’ve shared on the internet and how it has been, and will be, used against myself and my family. People see or read things and they weave these into narratives that aren’t necessarily true, but also can be damaging.
I’ve said often that our brains and hearts are as vast as space and the ocean, all are places that intrigue, inspire, and scare me. They are reminders of the vastness of our spiritual being, and the unknown. Both, I think are things that can inspire long-term fear, if we let them.
I plan to write more here over the course of the year. It is time to put words to paper and this blank space again. After all, I’m a champion for writing. However, I will draw a line at what I believe is acceptable to share as part of being a business owner, and for the purpose of connection. I start this with today’s offering, belated by a day, Fertile Ground - The 2026 Love Mix:
It runs long - 2 hours 2 minutes and 11 seconds, but it completes a story that has been in the background, humming along and taking up unnecessary space. It is amazing how we let people, situations, and emotions, like heartbreak, take up so much space, when they are meant to need not be. Yes, loss is hard, but loss frees us from what is no longer needed for our growth. Loss is uncomfortable and in that discomfort there is new opportunity. That is what this year’s love mix is about.
I spent 2025 resting and recuperating. I was in a space that was resentful, unhappy, and felt a little bit shameful. I wondered about my life decisions. I also turned 45. Please do not confuse any of this with regret. I don’t believe in regret. I’m certain I’d go back and do the same things all over again, if I were given the opportunity. The lessons were immense and necessary.
2025 is the year that I learned to love Justin Vernon of Bon Iver deeper than I ever have before. I went back to Los Angeles, after ten years, and saw it through new and older eyes. I went to the funeral of a guy who was my first crush, who died of a heart attack. It was the year, I allowed myself to stop hustling and started healing. I laid down my business of 16 years to give it space. It is the year, I stopped believing in a dream that I had held on to for too long and took a match to it, lighting it on fire.
I still have a long way to go, but I look forward to what 2026 holds. I am inspired by my fellow big-hearted lovers who are fighting and calling for a better world that is inclusive and renounces hate and hateful behavior. May we all find our fertile ground to plant the seeds of the future. Whatever is holding you back, may you find yourself free of it as we push forward. May this mix inspire you along the way.
Oh, I switched from Spotify to Qobuz. It is out of human rights and decency. I cannot stand by and pay a company that supports ICE or the current administration. Their behavior is unacceptable, inhumane, and plain evil. Also, the CEO of Spotify is bloated with money which equates to power, while artists, who are the true power brokers, are not paid enough for their art. We can make decisions every day on how we want to move forward personally. This is my choice, and I hope you find a choice that is right for you.
Until the next time, stay #hearted.